Has anyone ever called you asparagus tits? I am pretty certain that one has not been thrown my way and if it has it’s been a long while ago. If Columbus had a subway system, I imagine it would happen to me quite often. I would get on the crowded train and apprehensively look around and a gentleman with a scruffy beard and pissed soaked jeans would scream at me, “what the fuck are you looking at, ASPARAGUS TITS??!!!”
That reminds me my favorite thing about asparagus is the wonderful odor it gives my urine very soon after I ingest it. I’m not sure what it does to you, but it makes my piss smell like two semi-mature unicorns fucking under a Kentucky waterfall. It is ultimately one of my favorite things. Another of my favorite things is The Frank Zappa led Album, The Mothers—Live at the Filmore East 1971.
I had an early exposure to Zappa and the Mothers as they are one of my dad’s most beloved bands and he let me listen to them when I was just 11 years old. I think, in many ways, Zappa is an acquired taste and my early exposure helped me appreciate this album when Leon and I dug it back out, roughly 5 years ago in the middle of a bout of heavy drinking and tacit sexual advances. I will refrain from revealing who was on the offense in said advances, I will just say it tickled and hurt and made one of us feel big and small at the same time.
I’m talking about Live at the Filmore East in anticipation of our app TriYou which is currently receiving its finishing touches and will be released soon. It is based on YOUR top ten lists in Music, Books, Movies and TV so I thought I would post my favorite albums from 10 to 1 and right now this one sits at number 10 on my list…that could change at any time and we encourage you to update your lists whenever you feel like it.
It is hard to describe this album to anyone who has never had the pleasure to listen to it—it is full of wonderful music, humor, crazy dialogue and a fairly cohesive story running through the entirety of the album. Here is the one that caught Leon and I that romantic evening 5 years ago:
I obviously highly suggest you go listen to the album in its entirety if you have never done so, or even if you have. Number 10 is a particularly a hard spot for me to fill since I feel like that is where I leave the tons of other albums I have considered. Among them are, Enter the Wu-Tang, White Light/White Heat, Led Zeppelin II, The Shape of Punk to Come, Fred McDowell First Recording and on and on. I will say again it’s fun and challenging to limit your lists to just ten and I hope you all post your lists on there.
If Columbus ever gets an underground transit system, I hope one of you will see my riding and call me asparagus tits and try to pull one of my teeth out.