Vinyl Pull No. 49

Take a minute and picture this.  A ripening white man from small town America, puffy nipples and a small penis. (Did you laugh when you read penis, I laughed when I typed it).  He is at a Ponderosa Steak House and Salad Bar.  He has had too much coffee and needs to use the John.  As he is relieving himself, he senses a man staring at him from the adjacent urinal.  He tries to maintain his composure and face forward.  The anxiety gets the best of him, and he glances over to see a middle-aged greasy man in a long black leather jacket staring down at his business.

“You got a real gift there, kid.”

His spirits are immediately lifted as it’s been ages since anyone has called him kid.


“Sure! That is one of the smallest dicks I have ever seen!”


“Absolutely, pop that shirt off and let’s get some pictures!”


My life has been a bit of a whirlwind ever since.  It’s like Boogie Nights, isn’t it? Boogie Nights is one of my favorite films of all time and has one of my favorite soundtracks.  I can’t think of another film where the music has had a bigger impact on how much I enjoyed the experience. I recently picked up the soundtrack on vinyl and it’s worth it just for the cover. My girlfriend is really into soundtracks and apparently small dongs.

The movie and the record start off with this track by The Emotions; I don’t think I would listen to otherwise, but I love it—in the movie and on the record. Here it is now:

While I’m at it, this has always been my favorite track from the album, even back in the old days when I only had it on compact disc.  It just occurred to me, if Dirk Diggler has a Long Player, then I have a compact disc!

Here is a great big one, Eric Burden and War with Spill the Wine:

In my college days this was a tremendous collection to listen to while partying and I suppose it still is if your so inclined.  The soundtrack was so popular that they made a volume 2 and has another of my favorites from the movie—Do Your Thing by Charles Wright and the 103rd Street Watts Band—incidentally Charles Wright was Eazy E’s Uncle.

Here is the scene with that song:


I don’t have volume 2 on vinyl and that could be because it is unavailable in that format. If you have never listened to the soundtrack or watched the film, I suggest you do both.  Look for the album through the links in our record store tab.

If you’re wondering how my wonderful encounter culminated, it went like this.  I zipped my fly and put my shirt on, and we went to Applebee’s for some well bourbon.  I had about 16 drinks and woke up in the broom closet of a Dollar General with a toilet plunger sprouting out of one of my glorious holes.

Thank you for listening.

25 thoughts on “Vinyl Pull No. 49

  1. Such a good soundtrack and I agree that it changes the experience of the movie altogether.

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