Vinyl Pull No. 42

As I was driving from Springfield to Columbus via I70 east last Sunday afternoon I got stuck in a FREEDOM! convoy. I was not exactly sure what the FREEDOM! convoy pertained to, but I did get the impression it wasn’t for Native Americans or immigrants. I saw several Trump stickers and out of the corner of my eye I thought one read “Butt-Fuck Vaccines!”

America! My pride swelled up and I felt compelled to show the diesel truck to the right of me my hairy left tit. I had to take my seatbelt off to do this.  I want a bumper sticker that says Fuck vaccines and Fuck seat belts.

AMERICA!

My mind drifted back to a few months ago when I had Disney Plus and decided to watch most of the Marvel movies. What is more American than Disney? I was eating some homemade alfredo pasta and watching Captain America. I wondered what ever happened to the installment of Captain America I was most looking forward to, Captain America’s Rich Creamy Asshole or Captain America (RCA) for short. I hope it still comes out. Just thinking about Captain America’s Rich Creamy Asshole made the alfredo taste a lot better, albeit a bit rusty.

I wanted an American album for today, I was so inspired by all the rednecks and fat white ladies on the highway yesterday.

So, what better than a Neil Young album, and my favorite title by him, On the Beach. It starts off with a bright and happy sound with Walk On, something you can shuffle your feet to and maybe shout FREEDOM! to the disenfranchised.

It slows down for the second track, but it’s a beautiful slow, not a boring one. The third track is quite possibly my favorite song by Mr. Young and that is Revolution Blues and coincidentally enough, yesterday’s convoy had me keyed up for just that. Here it is for you now:

https://youtu.be/2yK504X_wvs

The next track is also perfect when thinking about a convoy of large trucks waving the flag and touting their political views and letting us know we have the FREEDOM! to burn all the oil we want. That track being Vampire Blues, “I’m a vampire babe, sucking blood from the earth.” Check out the guitar “lead” on this track.

https://youtu.be/fn27aTInqBM

The 1st side to On the Beach blows me away every time! I wonder if anyone in the convoy was listening to this inside their oversized Chevy, Fords and Dodges. Maybe they were listening to George Michael’s Freedom and hating themselves for the time they got an erection, in the high school locker room after football practice,from a cursory glance at Jason’s genitals ( I think after Captain America’s Rich Creamy Asshole, the next movie was supposed to be Captain America and Jason’s Genitals, but covid and the mask mandate fucked all that up!).

Anyway, the whole on the Beach album is phenomenal and interestingly enough is the only really good record I have ever found at a garage sale. Even at a garage sale it was 10 dollars but that was still a great bargain. It has the “wallpaper” print on the inside of the packaging and that is supposed to make it more valuable.

Oh yeah, Neil Young is from Canada so I cannot fully support him, he certainly could not love Freedom! like I do ( Oddly enough, I heard the convoy started in Canada and was headed for D.C. to put an end to the mask mandate).

Shit!

Let’s start our own convoy full of Americans in support of getting Captain America (RCA) back in production and in front of red-blooded Americans who love freedom, trucks, red meat, Bud Light, McDonalds, Wal Mart and on special occasions, sodomy.

27 thoughts on “Vinyl Pull No. 42

  1. I’ll write to Chris Evans and see what we can get going. In my experience it is best to not fully divulge all the finer details of the film when recruiting talent. I’m not going to start by asking Chris how creamy he is comfortable getting his asshole for freedom but it will certainly need to be brought up sometime before production.

    “On a scale from grandma’s tapioca pudding to a mega stuffed Oreo, how creamy are you willing to allow yourself, as an avenger, to let your asshole become?”

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