Happiness. What is it to you, what is it to me?

Happiness is getting drunk, passing out and waking up without pissing your pants?

Happiness is a scrotal tuck?

Happiness is when your barber’s tittie inadvertently flops on your left shoulder during a perm?

Happiness isdoing a number two and having a dry wipe?

Happiness is a framed picture of Steve Perry’s mouth?

Happiness is a lukewarm beverage in a can?

no, No, NO!

Happiness is a Warm Gun!

That happens to also be the 8th track on the 1st disc of the Beatles White Album. It could be argued that it is the best song on the greatest rock album of all time. If I had to pick one song from that album it would be Happiness or Yer Blues. I think if any other band wrote and recorded Happiness is a Warm Gun you would hear more people gush about it and say how Avant Garde, ahead of its time and ooooohhhhh just how “indie” it sounds. But it’s the Beatles and the response seems to be that’s just what they do. It is as innovative and ahead of its time as anything by Zappa or the Velvet Underground in my estimation. The Beatles I suppose are partially to blame for this by setting the bar so fucking high.—I listened to Abbey Road stoned a few months ago and the song Because blew me away, it could fit on Kid A I think and sound just as groundbreaking in 2000 as it did in 1969.

Nobody needs to be told the Beatles are good. I think everybody should have The White Album in their top ten list. It is a staple in my top ten on our sister app TriYou, coming soon. But who could find fault in having Sgt. Pepper, Abbey Road, or Revolver?

I think the White Album has too much for one blog post, and probably too much for even a book. So, I decided to focus on Happiness is a Warm Gun. The guitar phrasing that sounds out “I need a fix cause I’m going down” before the vocals makes the eyes roll back in my head it’s so good. I spent New Year’s Day 2002 on a copious amount of booze and some shitty ecstasy listening to that part of the song about 50 times in a row.

I wish the song was 12 minutes long, but it fits what most bands can’t do in a lifetime in just 2 minutes and 43 seconds. I think if you were forced to pick a song that exemplified the genius of the Beatles Happiness is a Warm Gun would be a decent choice. We should listen to it now– my words really don’t do dick to explain how wonderful it is:

Can you believe that son of bitch came out way back in 1968! (I am planning on doing a VinylPull on all the albums that came out that year, it is amazing).

I can comfortably say that if you didn’t like it, fuck you. But I know that all of you did so we are still friends—with benefits.

I hope that makes you happy.

For me, happiness is a nice picnic lunch of a bologna sandwich, pringles and a Mr. Pibb by a lake on a sunny afternoon while letting my friend Jalen throw pennies at my butthole.

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