Lumpy Gravy

My Dad’s Tits

Pecker Sandwich

Hard Again

Scrotum Cramps

Face Stabber

Tuesday’s Rectum

Bitches & Buttholes

It’s that time again! I’m on my period. Just kidding (JK), Sorry so sloppy (SOS). It’s time to guess which of the above are real album titles, I will give you 30 seconds. Nope! Tuesday’s Rectum is an auto parts store and Bitches & Buttholes is a diner only open for brunch. The correct answers are Hard Again—an album by Muddy Waters produced by Johnny Winter. Face Stabber–a wonderful record by The Osees, and of course, Lumpy Gravy by Frank Zappa—the subject of today’s Vinylpull.

Can you call it a companion piece to We’re Only in it for the Money? I’m not sure, but I just did it. On the back of the album sleeve, it refers to it as phase 2 of We’re Only in it for the Money.

If I had to pick just one album to showcase the genius of Zappa this would be it. Apparently, he took hours upon hours of tape and edited it with a razor blade. I think it requires a minimum of ten listens to begin to get a good grasp of what is happening on this album, and even then, it sounds different every time. It does grab you initially as it confuses and astounds. It could be described as a cacophony of sounds that is simultaneously beautiful and disconcerting. I could possibly be described as a pretentious asshole. Give it a listen:

At times it sounds like a score to a horror film and at other times a comedy album. One of my favorite pieces of dialogue is, “Don’t suck it so hard!”

Shit, I was mistaken, that is a line that Kevin Costner has in Dances with Wolves.

Here is the correct dialogue:

“Where can we get that?”

“At your local drugstore.”

“How much?”

“It’s from Kansas.”

Before we were dating, my girlfriend stayed up with me until 3 a.m. listening to this album. Something my ex-wife would have never done. I knew then she was a keeper, but I also thought she may just be trying to get her fingers inside me. I think I still have my ex’s ring finger lodged deep enough in me to make me throw up.

If you have never listened to Frank Zappa this is a crazy recording and might be an ambitious one to start with, but also worth the time and effort. Probably like starting to read James Joyce with Ulysses. Here are some other great titles by Zappa I highly suggest, and may be a good warm up to this one:

Freak Out

Absolutely Free

We’re Only in it for the Money

Hot Rats

…and possibly my favorite of all, The Mother’s Live at the Fillmore East 1971 (it is on my top ten album list of all time on our sister app TriYou, coming soon).

Go now and get some Zappa, you will thank me for it in the end.

If you’d like a Scrotum Cramps T-shirt, send me a message. If you have Scrotum Cramps eat a banana.

90 thoughts on “Vinyl Pull No. 29

  1. Howdy! This post couldn’t be written much better! Reading through this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He continually kept preaching about this. I’ll forward this article to him. Fairly certain he will have a very good read. Thank you for sharing!

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